


Those Beautiful Green Eyes

by blackfishh



Category: Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, Abuse, Anime, Armin - Freeform, Doctors, Eren - Freeform, Fanfic, Gay, Hanji - Freeform, Hospital, Levi - Freeform, M/M, Medical, Medicine, Mikasa - Freeform, Multi, Nurses, Sex, Smut, Yaoi, attack on titan - Freeform, ereri, petra - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 16:15:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19890697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackfishh/pseuds/blackfishh
Summary: Eren grew up in an abusive household, always believing he was useless and would amount to nothing. When he decides to go to medical school, his life changes for the good. His goal is to be a hero, and Levi, the mysterious cardiac attending, helps guide him through the many struggles of life in the medical world. As they become close, they open up to each other and realize how much they have in common. Through many ups and downs, Levi always finds his way back to those beautiful green eyes that caught his attention when he first met Eren.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there!! And thank you for reading! My name is Vikki, I’m a senior nursing student and I love medical dramas and I love ereri so I decided to merge them into one! 
> 
> So here’s the deal, I know not many people understand medical jargon. I’m not gonna go over board with the medical stuff but whatever I do mention I will make sure to put a note at the bottom with a definition/explanation :) 
> 
> Please let me know if you like my story! I’d love to hear feedback <33 
> 
> Thanks again and enjoy >.<
> 
> P.S. I will be updating weekly on Sundays

“Does he have a pulse?” A calm male voice asked above the chaos. An answer came only through anxious faces.

“Use your words people.” The voice, now tinged with annoyance, came from a short man in forest green scrubs and a white coat. His arms held firmly on his hips as he surveyed the scene unfolding before him.

“No pulse. Starting compressions.” A tall nurse stood over the man laying in the stretcher and placed her hands together on his chest.

“Good.” The man nodded. He remained at the foot of the bed giving directions and praising his team for working together well.

_1803... he’s been unconscious for about 22 minutes now with no pulse, even after shocking him. Damn it._

His jaw tightened.

“Stop.”

Everyone in the room halted, taking their hands off the patient and staring eagerly at the monitor. 30 seconds passed and a single small blip appeared, nothing more than a final quiver of the young man’s heart.

Levi looked at the clock. “Time of death, 1804.” His voice was low but portrayed no signs of the defeat he felt. He knew it was a lost cause, the chances of restarting the damaged heart of a drug addict were slim. He was never one to hold onto hope because having too much meant that things hurt more when they went wrong.

“Shit.” Levi let out a tired sigh, running his fingers through his dark hair. He closed his eyes for a second, let himself feel sad for a moment and then moved on just as quickly. Leaving the room he entered back into the crowded halls of the emergency room.

...........................................................................

Eren

“I got in!” I exclaimed as I barreled through the front door of the house I shared with my sister and best friend.

“What?” Mikasa’s eyes widened with excitement.

“The residency program, at Reiss Memorial, I got accepted!”

“That’s amazing Eren! I’m so proud of you.” Mikasa locked me in a tight hug before letting go and handing me a plate of breakfast. “When do you start?”

“Next week, I have orientation and some other training and shit. Where’s Armin? There’s a letter for him too.” I looked up from shoveling food into my mouth and saw Mikasa pointing at the door to the back yard.

I finished what was on my plate and stepped outside to see Armin sitting with a book and a mug of coffee.

“Hey, you got a letter,” I placed the envelope in his lap and took a seat next to him, “but I’m guessing you already know what it says.” A playful smirk lifting the corners of my mouth.

Armin looked at me and smiled, “How would I know?” He opened the envelope and scanned over the papers, “Yeah, I knew.” He laughed and I shoved him playfully.

“We’re both gonna be residents. I can’t believe it.” I beamed and reminisced on all the hard work I had done over the years. I’d never thought this far into the future when I was a kid, I always believed I wouldn’t amount to anything. At least that’s what I’d always been told and I had actually believed it for a while. I almost let those thoughts ruin my life but I found the strength to reach for more, to do something amazing. Armin and Mikasa have been by my side the entire way, and I know I couldn’t have done it without them.

The night before my first real day of work at the hospital was sleepless. I could barely keep my eyes closed and I couldn’t tell if I was nervous or excited. But I won’t let it ruin my first day.

My alarm went off at 5:30 and I was shockingly full of energy as I bounced out of bed. I slipped on the assigned light blue scrubs and grabbed everything I needed and stuffed it into a backpack. I walked into the kitchen, Armin stood at the counter pouring a cup of coffee.

“Good morning,” he smiled, “want some?”

I nodded and he poured a cup for me. I got a bowl and poured myself and Armin Frosted Flakes.

“Did you sleep at all?” I asked between spoonfuls.

“Not much, too nervous.” Armin shrugged.

“Same.”

We finished our breakfast and went out to the car. The roads were mostly empty, which wasn’t surprising at this time in the morning. We pulled into the parking lot and my excitement slowly turned into anxiety which came in waves and turned my stomach inside out. It must’ve showed on my face because Armin looked at me and said “Hey, we're gonna have a good day.” His smile calmed my nerves a bit and I sighed, “Yeah, I know. I just don’t want to disappoint anyone.” I looked down at my hands a furrowed my brow. Why did I say that? I knew who I was talking about but why did I care? Why would my father care, he already thought I was a mistake.

“Eren.”

“What?”

“You don’t have to worry about disappointing anyone.” Armin looked at me intently, looking for a sign on my face that showed I was okay.

“Yeah,” I chuckled and scratched the back of my neck, “I don’t know why I thought... I just-“

“Don’t worry about it, everything is gonna be okay.” Armin put a hand on my shoulder. I smiled and nodded. He was right, everything would be okay as long as I kept myself from thinking about my father. Growing up with him was like trying to grow flowers in the middle of a desert. His abusive tendencies drained the life out of my mother and when he was bored with her, he turned to me.

But I couldn’t think about all of that now, I pushed it to the back of my mind like always did and put all my energy into functioning like a normal human being for the next 12 hours.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! I hope you enjoy this chapter, it’s super cute :”)
> 
> P.S. Make sure to read the end notes for helpful definitions and explanations! And always feel free to leave a comment or question! <33

_ Levi _

“Fuck, those brats are gonna be here today,” I sighed, giving a sideways look at my good friend Petra, “how the hell am I supposed to get anything done?”

“Try to be nice, Levi. They’re learning and they’re gonna look up to you.” Petra, an ER nurse, always knew what to say. Even if it pissed me off more. 

“Yeah, yeah. Hopefully they’re not too incompetent,” I mumbled and looked at my watch, “I gotta go, they’ll be here soon.” 

“Good luck!” Petra said cheerfully.

“Thanks.” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. I turned and walked to the elevator and pushed the button to go up. I stepped in and I crossed my my arms over my chest then leaned back against the cool metal wall. The door opened on the next floor and Erwin Smith entered. There was an unfortunate sexual tension between us, and I say unfortunate because he wanted it so bad and I refused every time. Not because I didn’t want to have him take me to pound town but because one: he’s the chief of surgery and I don’t get involved with my co-workers (especially not my fucking superior). And two: I promised myself that my life was my work, even if I knew that was complete bullshit. The promise I made to myself, the lie, had kept me going because I knew if I didn’t, it would all have been for nothing. Therefore, I didn’t have time for any dumb relationship drama like that. 

“Good morning, chief.” 

“Good morning, Levi.” Erwin curved his lips into a small smirk as my name rolled of his tongue. 

_What an asshole._

We got off and made our way to the small conference room where we were meeting the new residents. The brats were already sitting at the table when we walked in. 

_At least they’re early._

I stopped in my tracks when I saw him. The man with the messy brown hair and bright green eyes. My favorite color. He looked as though he hadn’t slept in a week but the way the light caught in his eyes brightened his whole face. I immediately continued on, forgetting the the way I felt in that moment. I tried to seem unfazed but the confused glance Erwin gave me confirmed that I had failed at hiding what had just happened. 

“Hello everyone. I’m Dr. Smith, chief of surgery and this Dr. Ackerman, the resident that some of you will be working under.” Erwin smiled, and continued on with an introduction I payed no mind to. My eyes wandered to the man that had caught my attention earlier. I’ve never identified as gay, because I hate labels. A man of all trades is what I usually said when I explained that my preference was no preference, as long as they were pretty enough to catch my attention. And this kid did, which was not good. I knew I would have to hold myself back but I was used to it. 

“I’ll let you take over, Levi.” Erwin spoke quietly to me and then left promptly. 

I looked over the people in front of me, there was six of them but only two were to be working under me. I directed the others to go their perspective units and was pleased to see that the green eyed boy was mine. Eren Yeager. I read his name from the list, smirking as he awkwardly raised his hand to show that the name belonged to him. Then the other would be Armin Arlert. 

“All right, brats, listen up,” I placed my hands on the table and leaned onto it, “I have a few rules. Pay attention so I don’t have to repeat myself. First, if you don’t know what you’re doing, ask, don’t just wing it because I won’t be cleaning up your mess. Second, always respect the patient. I don’t care if they’re cussing at you like a sailor, you show them respect. Lastly, don’t fuck with my nurses. They do more than most of us around here so if they tell you to do something, you do it. Got it? Any questions?” I lifted my head to look at Eren and Armin, both of whom were staring at me blankly. 

“Right. Let’s go.” My right hand tapped the table as I pushed away from it, walking swiftly to the door. I heard them scramble to get up and follow. 

We returned to the emergency department, walking at a steady pace as I pointed out important things they’d need, like supply closets, code carts, and the break room. I also explained how the days were scheduled out. It was a lot of information but they never once stopped me to ask any questions.

_Either they’re really smart or very dumb.._

“Because it’s your first day, I’ll let you chose. You can either follow me around on my cases or I can assign you your own.” I ran my fingers through my hair, silently hoping they’d want to go off on their own. I had my own shit to do and I hated having someone looking over my shoulder. I walked them to the assignment board. 

“I’m okay with going on my own, I did my internship here,” Armin smiled, “I’d prefer neuro patients if that’s okay?” 

“Knock yourself out. Take beds 13, 20, and 37 but find Dr. Zoe, and let her know I said you’ll be with her.” I wrote Armin’s name on the board and then turned to Eren. His eyes were scanning the white board, trying not to look nervous. I could see that he was unsure of what to do. 

“Why don’t you help me out today, you like you’re gonna shit your pants.” I sighed, taking note of my assignment. 

“I- I’m not gonna- I’m just trying to..” he stammered and shook his head, “I don’t want to fuck up.” 

_Damn, why’s he so nervous?_

“Where’d you do your internship? Why’d you switch?” I asked as I walked away from the board, glad that he knew to follow me.

“I was at Wing. I had to leave because I couldn’t work with someone, we have.. had issues. Besides, you’re basically a legend in cardio, I figured if I’m gonna learn from anyone I should learn from the best.” 

“Tch,” I waved my hand at the comment, “don’t put me on a pedestal, kid.” 

_Who does he have issues with? I probably shouldn’t ask.._

“I read your file, you did very well at your internship,” I don’t know why I was trying to reassure him but I continued, “I don’t think you have worry about fucking up, unless you do some dumb shit.” I shrugged and looked over my shoulder at him. 

“I’ll try to keep the dumb shit to a minimum.” He chuckled and I could see his mood improve by the look on his face. 

“Good.” I nodded. 

We walked to a long desk against a wall and sat at one of the computers. I showed him how to look up his assignments and what was important to know. I felt more relaxed around Eren than I had around anyone in a long time, although I never portrayed more emotions than absolutely necessary. I kept an uninterested demeanor and he seemed not to notice. 

I brought Eren with my on my rounds, and even let him observe me perform an emergency cardiac catheterization. 

“See that there?” I pointed to the black and white screen at a blocked artery, and looked at him. He nodded and leaned closer to the monitor. I couldn’t help but appreciate how he absorbed information as if I was preaching to him. “Would you like to inflate the balloon?” I was already handing him the equipment and moved over as he eagerly went to work. 

“Wow.” He breathed as he watched the blood that had been blocked started flowing again.

“Now, you’re going to place a stent.” 

“I’ve never done that before.” His eyes widening for a moment. 

“I know, that’s why you’re doing it now.” 

I watched his brow furrow as he concentrated. 

“Right here?”

“Not quite,” I placed my hands over his and guided his movements. We were both watching the screen, the adjustments I made were slow and deliberate. I could feel his eyes on me all of a sudden. “There.” I said softly, releasing his hands. 

His eyes were always focused, as if taking mental notes on everything. He asked a few questions here and there but he remained quiet for the most part, allowing me to do my job. I taught him all I could for the first half of the day, and when I sent him away to have lunch he smiled appreciatively. 

_What a beautiful smile._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Cardiac catheterization:(cardiac cath or heart cath) is a procedure to examine how well your heart is working. A thin, hollow tube called a catheter is inserted into a large blood vessel that leads to your heart.
> 
> 2) Balloon angioplasty, with or without stenting: This procedure is used to open a narrowed artery in or near your heart. The catheter can be inserted in either your wrist or groin for this procedure.
> 
> A long, flexible catheter will be threaded through your arteries to the narrowed artery. Then, a smaller balloon catheter will be fed through the flexible catheter and inflated at the narrowed area to open it. In many cases, your doctor will also place a mesh coil called a stent at the narrowed portion to help keep the artery open.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! I hope you enjoy this update >.< I had a super busy week so I hope it doesn't feel rushed. As always, please see the endnotes for helpful definitions and explanations. 
> 
> Thank you for reading <3

Eren

I could feel the effects of a sleepless night catching up to me as I walked to the cafe. I pulled out my phone to try to distract myself but while my eyes were looking down I walked right into someone. I looked up at the tall woman in front of me and as I opened my mouth to apologize she cut me off.

“Well hello there! You must be Eren Yeager, Armin has told me a lot about you!” She held out a hand to me and I shook it. Her grip was stronger than I imagined but also more controlled than her bouncy personality. 

“Hi, nice to meet you...” 

“Doctor Hanji Zoe,” she smiled wide and continued, “neurosurgeon and kitty enthusiast.” She made a squeezing motion with her hands in the air in front of her. 

“Right, well I’m going to lunch, did you want to join?” I silently hoped she wouldn’t.

“Unfortunately I can't, but Armin is getting something right now, enjoy!” She walked away and waved.

Oh boy, how can he spend all day with her? 

I mean, yeah, Levi was in a constant state of boredom but at least he wasn’t ecstatically enthusiastic about everything. For some reason, I preferred the unimpressed stares than loud outbursts. 

I bought a sandwich and a bag of chips and found Armin. I sat across from him at a table next to a big window. The sun felt warm on my cheeks. 

“Hey, how’s it going?” I started eating my chips, looking Armin up and down. 

“Good,” he sighed, “just very busy but Dr. Zoe is very... helpful.” Armin smiled as he saw me rolling my eyes. 

“How can you even deal with that much energy?”

“It’s honestly not that bad, I guess I’m getting used to it.” 

“Well, that’s good.” I turned my attention to the sandwich in front of me. 

“How’s Dr. Ackerman? He seems very... strict?” Armin looked as if he were searching for the right words to describe the man. But, honestly, there are none. Levi was very hard to read, he kept his demeanor very plain, with hints of sarcasm and subtle notes of boredom. 

“More like, uninterested in dealing with anyone’s bullshit because of the pole in his ass” I laughed when I saw Armin almost choke on his drink, “I don’t think I saw him smile once today.” 

“Oh, trust me, he smiled... You just weren’t paying attention.” 

“What? When?”

Armin blushed, “He was watching you, but it was only for a second.”

“Oh...” I looked down at the table, my cheeks started to grow warm, “he definitely does not like me.” I shook my head trying to get rid of the intruding thoughts I was suddenly having. “He’s too old and way too smart to even be interested in me anyway.” I laughed but I noticed that my voice did not seem genuine.

“Since when has age been an issue?” Armin asked jokingly but I could feel my cheeks getting warmer.

“Shut up. Eat your damn food.”

“I’m just saying! he’s actually pretty handsome and-” Armin stopped mid-sentence and looked over my shoulder. I looked back and caught a glance of Levi pouring cream into a large cup of coffee. 

“Okay, fine he’s handsome but I swear to god if you don’t stop I’m going to eat all of the candy in your secret stash.” I looked back at Armin with a sarcastic glare.

He huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, “Fine.”

The rest of the day went by fast but I was suddenly more aware of Levi’s subtle advances that I didn't see before. How he kept the distance between us small, and the way his hands felt on mine when he was guiding me, and the look in his dark eyes when I saw them peeking at me when he thought I wasn't looking. Maybe it was all in my head, all the stuff Armin was saying could be doing this to me. However, part of me hoped that it was real. 

I was sitting at a computer, finishing some charting, when Levi approached me. 

“Hey, kid, you almost done? I want to go home.”

“I’m not a kid, and yes, give me two minutes.” I sighed, typing a little faster because I wasn’t going to be done in two minutes at the pace I was going. 

“Whatever, kid. Let me know when you're done, I’ll be in my office.” He smirked and walked past me. 

I was just standing up when I heard a code blue called on the overhead and felt a hand grip tightly on my arm as Levi grabbed me and ran.

“You ever ran a code before, kid?” he asked as we approached the room that was filling with people. 

“No, I - I haven’t,” I wanted my voice to be solid but it was quiet and cracked. A shiver ran down my spine as I eyed the patient who was pale and lifeless on the bed. Everything around me surged in organized chaos as people prepared to save a life. 

Levi’s hand jerked my arm turning me towards him, “Just watch for now and try not to get in the way.” He pushed me behind him and he began asking about the patient and what had happened. Who found her? When? Is there a pulse? What medications were given? Any allergies? 

I watched in awe as the short man in front of me seemed to grow six feet tall as he spoke confidently. I mentally appreciated his methods and did as I was told when asked to help. The whole ordeal didn’t last very long, the woman regained a pulse and people started filtering out as things settled down. 

I texted Armin that I was gonna be late to go home. He asked how long he should wait but I wasn't sure, so I told him to go and I would get an Uber. He was probably really tired so I didn't want to keep him here longer than he needed to be. It was about an hour after I was supposed to leave that I was finally walking outside. I sat on a bench next to a tree that had pink blossoms and pulled out my phone. I was in the process of getting an Uber when I heard footsteps approaching. 

“You look like you could use a drink.” Levi leaned against the tree and looked up at the branches. He had changed out of his scrubs into dark jeans and a grey t-shirt. I noticed wings tattooed on his upper arms. They poked out from under his sleeves, laying over his shoulders coming down to just above his elbows. I would’ve never seen them while at work because he always wore his white coat. 

“Yeah,” I rubbed the back of my neck, “only if you’re buying.” 

“You got balls, kid. Come on.” 

“I’m not a kid,” I scowled and followed him, “I’m 26, you're just old.” 

“Damn, you sure are a brat, get in.” He nodded to his car, a black mustang, with dark tinted windows. 

As I got in I noticed how clean it was which made me completely aware that I was still wearing my dirty scrubs. 

“Sorry, I wasn't expecting to go out.” I looked down at my lap.

“It’s fine, just don't touch anything.”

The drive was only a few minutes down the street to a small bar. Fortunately, I’d been to a few bars before so I wasn’t worried about making a fool of myself. We ordered our drinks and sat in silence until the came. 

“So what’s your story, kid?” Levi sipped the amber liquid from his glass.

“It’s not much of a story,” I shrugged and fiddled with a paper napkin, “abusive dad, absent mom, my sister and I moved out as soon as we could and Armin has been living with us for the past few years. We’ve been on our own ever since.” 

I looked at Levi, he was gazing thoughtfully at his drink and running his index finger lazily over the rim. I wanted to know what he was thinking but knew better than to ask. 

“And why medical school?” He finally asked turning his gaze towards me.

“Because I was told I wouldn’t make it, so I had to prove him wrong,” I shrugged, “my dad is a doctor and he never thought I could be one too.”

“So you want to be like him?”

“No, I want to be better.”

Levi looked at me inquisitively for a moment then took another sip from his drink. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it, choosing not to say anything. 

“What about you? What's your story?” I broke the silence.

“It’s very similar to yours,” he swallowed the rest of his drink in one large gulp, “but I’ll tell you about it another time, kid.” 

We both ordered another drink, and we talked, and I think I heard Levi laugh a little at one of my dumb jokes. It was mostly small talk but it was nice. I had a feeling he rarely spoke with anyone like this. As the hour went by I could see the muscles in Levi’s face start to relax, as if he had removed a heavy make he had been holding up all day. 

“I should get you home, must be past your bedtime.” Levi pushed up from the counter and started for the exit. I rolled my eyes and followed him to his car. When we pulled up to my house I thanked him for the drinks and the ride. As I was opening the car door Levi reached over with one arm to close it again and took me by the collar with his other hand pulling me to face him. My heart was starting to race as his eye stared into mine. He looked at me as if he was considering his next move. 

“Wha-” I was going to ask him what he was doing but he cut me off. His voice was low and sharp as he spoke his next words.

“I’m going to kiss you.” It was like he had read my mind. My cheeks were hot and I felt a shiver run down my spine. All I could do was a nod as I looked at his lips. Lips that were now pressed against mine. My head was spinning but I leaned into him for support. His tongue pushed into my mouth with determination as I opened myself for him. His hand was still clutching my collar but the other found its way to my hair and he grabbed a fistful tightly. I let out a soft groan when he pulled away from me. 

“Get out.” He spoke in almost a whisper.

I was too flustered to speak so I nodded and got out of his car. I heard him speed off as I slowly walked to my front door. I closed my eyes and tried to catch my breath before entering. _What was that?_ I sighed and tried to rub the redness from my cheeks. 

When I opened the door I heard loud footsteps approaching. Armin appeared with his hands on his hips.

“Where were you? You should’ve been home hours ago!” 

“I was out,” I shrugged and pushed past him, “it’s not a big deal.” I knew exactly what he was thinking when I heard him gasp.

“You were with doctor Ackerman, weren’t you?” he smiled and wiggled a finger at me.

“Yeah, so? He offered to buy me a drink like I said not a big deal.” I fought the smile that tried to escape. 

“Okay, whatever you say.” Armin rolled his eyes. I went quickly to the bathroom to shower. I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about how Levi had kissed me and I fell asleep wondering whether it was the only time he ever would. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Code blue: An emergency situation announced in a hospital or institution in which a patient is in cardiopulmonary arrest (when the heart stops beating), requiring a team of providers (sometimes called a 'code team') to rush to the specific location and begin immediate resuscitative efforts.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello sweeties! This update is coming to you a little late and I do apologize for that. Life has been crazy for me recently, bf drama, work stress and overall depression lol but I'm coming around. Hopefully, I can avoid any more late posts! Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter and as always thanks for reading <3 ;3 
> 
> P.S: Follow me on Tumblr ( black-fishh ), Insta ( _hxntai_ ), and if you play League of Legends ( hxntai ) <333

Levi

_ What the fuck am I doing? _

"Get out." I drew away from Eren, placing my hands on the steering wheel. I couldn't even look at him because when I did I felt something stir inside my chest and I didn't like that. Damn it, I'm going to mess him up. What if he's not even interested in men?Maybe I was overreacting, or maybe I wasn't. All I knew was that I needed to get this man out of my car before I did something else I would regret. 

I watched him out of the corner of my eye as he fumbled with the door handle for a moment. If he was confused or angry he didn't show it. He seemed to be smirking a bit and when he turned back to give me a glance over his shoulder, the look in his eyes made me grip my steering wheel tight, my knuckles turning white as snow. 

I sped home. I couldn't keep my mind from filling with thoughts of how his lips felt against mine. Those lips, that feeling took over and as I stood in my shower, letting the hot water blur my vision, I let out a frustrated groan. It wasn't right to be interested in him, I was his superior. I think that's what made it harder for me to keep my emotions at bay. He was forbidden fruit, begging to be eaten despite the inevitable consequences and I was more than happy to be punished. But was he? He would consider my advances as tipsy nonsense and forget about all of it, I was sure of it. I forced myself to box up the feelings that whirled within me. I stacked them away to the back of my mind, labeling it with a giant 'Do Not Open' and then turned off my shower. 

I tossed and turned most of the night. When I finally fell asleep it was about an hour before my alarm went off. I rolled out of bed and took a moment to stretch before going downstairs to let Rose, my tall black Doberman outside. She took a moment to sniff the cool predawn air before walking out on to the grass and then stretched her long slender legs. I’d never been a dog person. They just bring dirt in the house. Rose however seemed to be more conscious about her state of cleanliness unlike most dogs and after having my house broken into I decided having a large guard dog wasn’t a bad idea. 

The sky was just beginning to bright when I arrived at the hospital. I walked briskly to my office, knowing that Eren would show up any moment to get his assignment for the day. As I came around the corner, I saw him slumped on the floor with his head resting against the wall. Then I heard a soft snore. I paused for a moment, gazing at the softness of his face and the mess of dark brown hair that caressed it. 

_Damn_. I rolled my eyes and then shoved Eren awake with my leg, “Wake up, kid. You’ve got work to do.”

“Sorry, didn’t sleep much.” Eren ruffled the hair on the back of his head awkwardly.

“Same here, kid.” I grumbled to myself. I turned the key to my office and walked in. 

“Hey, about that ki-“ 

I raised a hand signaling him to stop talking, “I’m sorry. It was inappropriate and it would be best if we both forgot about it.” With that I turned to my desk and began going through the paper charts. I hoped that he would leave the conversation alone and move on.

“Oh, okay.” Eren paused, obviously trying to choose his next words wisely, “I didn’t mind it though, and I wouldn’t mind if it happened again.” I heard him take a step closer to me. 

“Well, it won’t.” I struggled to keep my back to Eren, trying to find anything to focus on besides the feeling of lust building at the pit of my stomach. 

“Fine, whatever you say, sir.” He was teasing me and it was working. 

“Alright, Brat,” I turn and shoved a pile of folders into his arms, “here’s your assignment for today, now get your ass to work before I kick it into next week.” The sharp look I gave him was enough to make blood curdle. My ability to keep my composure was slim around Eren and if I allowed him to continue speaking I was going to say or do something that would make us both late for work. I watched him as he hurried out of my office and took a deep breath to calm myself before starting my own work. The day went by quickly, I checked in on Eren every couple of hours but for the most part tried to keep my distance. 

“You look like you haven’t slept for a week,” Erwin had approached me in one of the bright hospital hallways, “what were you up to with that boy?” The frisky tone in his voice made me sneer. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“You know what I’m talking about,” his eyes grew dark, “I saw him get into your car.”

“We went to a bar for drinks, nothing else.” I felt Erwin’s eyes burning into me as he stared inquisitively. He pursed his lips in defeat and moved on from the subject.

“You’re going to be tgetting an LVAD case from Vermont, he will be arriving today.” Erwin had his arms firmly held behind his back. 

“Great.” 

“Be sure to include Eren, it will be a good experience for him.” He smiled at me before turning on his heel to walk away. 

_He’s insufferable._

Eren and I entered through sliding glass doors to greet our next patient. He was a tall lanky man, with gray thin hair and thin looking skin. He was the LVAD patient Erwin had mentioned. 

“Good morning, Mr. Cote. I’m Dr. Ackerman, the attending cardiothoracic surgeon that will be working with you and this is Dr. Yaeger, the resident that will be working with me.” Eren and I both shook Mr. Cote’s hand. 

“Nice to meet both of you.” Mr. Cote smiled. 

“Alright, so let’s get started.” I turned to Eren who promptly opened a folder full of papers to read the SBAR allowed. 

“Felix Cote, 65 year old male with a history of hypertension, coronary artery disease, end stage heart failure, TIA, and status post LVAD surgery in 2016. He is currently on the waiting list for a heart transplant. He’s here for worsening chest pain and pressure upon exertion and concerns about persistent flu like symptoms. Recent labs show increase in both troponin and white blood cells.” Eren awkwardly looked up at me for approval, I looked him in the eyes and nodded. His face brightened so beautifully. 

“Mr. Cote, what are you usually doing when you experience the chest pain?” I asked the patient as I pulled a chair from against the wall to sit beside the foot of the bed. 

“Well, I usually feel it when I go up the stairs.”

“Do you exercise regularly?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Okay, well based on your labs, Mr. Cote, you seem to have had some damage to your heart recently. Why didn’t you go to the hospital sooner?” 

“I guess I thought it would just get better on its own,” Mr. Cote laughed nervously. I could see the denial in his face.

“Well, because you’re a high risk patient I’d like to run more tests and possibly a cardiac catheterization. Do you have any questions?” 

“Nope, I know the drill. Been through this enough times.” 

“Alright. Now, regarding your flu like symptoms, I’m going to get you a consultation with a general practitioner to do further work up for you, okay?”

“Okay. But uhm I have a question about that. Do you think it could be HIV? I read online what the symptoms are and I’m kind of nervous.”

“We won’t know what it is until further testing, but what makes you think it’s HIV? Do you think you’ve been exposed?”

“Uhm. Maybe.”

“Okay, well I will be sure to order testing.” 

We wrapped up our small meeting and left the room quietly. Eren followed me to an empty desk. 

“Alright, Eren. Explain to me what we’re going to do about Mr. Cote.” I turned to Eren, whose brow furrowed as he concentrated. I allowed him to tell me his idea of a care plan for our patient. His plan was spot on, almost exactly what I would do. 

“You forgot something.”

“What?” 

“The patient is concerned that he may have been exposed to HIV. That is going to be very important.” 

“Yes, but won’t that be handled by infectious disease or something?” 

“But what about from a cardiology perspective?”

Eren looked at me and then looked down at the chart later out in front of him. I could see the moment of realization on his face. His eyes seemed to sparkle with intent as he sifted through years of knowledge in his head.

“If he’s positive, he will no longer be eligible for a transplant.” He finally looked up. 

It was a difficult day, waiting for results. I could see that Eren saddened when they came back positive. It’s part of the job, the bad news. The horrible, ugly news that no one wants to hear. But it’s there, it’s always there and Eren had to learn that. I told him that he would be the one to inform Mr. Cote that his HIV status would mean he couldn’t get the transplant that he had been waiting for.

Days turned into weeks and the anniversary of the worst night of my life was approaching quickly. That midsummer night, where I could’ve sworn I felt the edges of my soul begin to fray, while the sound of shattering glass echoed throughout my house. I could never remember all that had happened but while I slept my subconscious gave me vivid details. The screams, the blood, the pieces of my life strewn all over the floor and the gun that was ironically placed gently against my cheekbone. In my dreams I could remember watching the life fade from the man I had taken home with me that night. The memories always blurred over when I opened my eyes, as if a fog of protection filled my head. The person responsible was never found. I couldn’t even remember seeing a face. 

I had been on edge all day. Unable to keep myself still, unable to relax. Eren had been giving me concerned looks all day. We only spoke to each other when it was necessary but something inside me wanted more. Especially on this day, when I made it a point to not be home alone. 

I had considered inviting Erwin but I didn’t want to feed into whatever fantasy he had about me. 

I had been pacing my office when a knock on my door made me jump. 

“Come in,” I crossed my arms over my chest, as Eren entered the room, “What do you want?”

“I just wanted to let you know that I was leaving.” Eren looked me up and down, “are you okay?” 

“I’m fine,” I snapped. 

“Obviously,” Eren raised a brow, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Wait.” I sighed, fuck it. “Come over tonight, for dinner.” 

“I thought you -“

“Just say you’ll be there, brat.” 

“Fine, I’ll be there.” 

I watched the blood rush to Eren’s cheeks and smirked. I turned and wrote my address on a small piece of paper and handed it him. 

“8 o’clock. Don’t be late.”

I got home quickly, when I pulled into my drive way the hairs on the back of my neck stood straight. The air around me felt as if it was full of static and it made the tips of my fingers tingle. The feeling followed me like a cloud as I entered my home and went about my evening routine. Even Rose could sense the tension around me, she made a small whine as I pet her head. 

The final task on my list was to start dinner. I decided to make a simple pasta and marinara with shrimp. I wasn’t sure what Eren would like but I tried to not overthink it. My mind kept wondering back and forth between Eren and the terrible dreams I was bound to have later tonight. When the door bell, Rose leapt up to get there first. I showed her out of the way and opened the door to see Eren with a wide smile and glowing eyes. He held a bottle of wine in one hand and before he said anything he looked down at Rose. 

“You have a dog?” 

“Hello to you too, brat.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LVAD: Left ventricular assist device (LVAD) or a ventricular assist device (VAD) — also known as a mechanical circulatory support device — is an implantable mechanical pump that helps pump blood from the lower chambers of your heart (the ventricles) to the rest of your body. A VAD is used in people who have weakened hearts or heart failure.
> 
> SBAR: an acronym for Situation, Background, Assessment, Recommendation; a technique that can be used to facilitate prompt and appropriate communication. This communication model has gained popularity in healthcare settings, especially amongst professions such as physicians and nursing.


End file.
